Hello...Is this Anu? Said the voice..Who is this? I asked, Tanmay, Manu’s brother, as his voice was full of anguish, I was about to ask How are you?? But he started crying “I know he loved you, But I don’t know what happen between you guys.. One thing I have to say you is We both watched MY MOTHER in you, He wept That was the sound of such a innocent lad who was crying loneliest , It was the Saddest sound I have ever heard ,Tanu what Happen ? How are you? How about Maaa (he just cut down my conversation) and Shouted “MANU IS NOMORE”... I was shocked it took me a long pause to grasp the thing; He then continued its all due to improper and inadequate care for his HEMORRHAGIC DENGUE FEVER, due to improper and adequate treatment he was suffering from capillary leakage which lead him to suffer a lot with insufficient blood platelets. Everybody in this Selfish world made us far from all, Nobody took care of us no relatives or not his new friends He died as orphan, I think you would have save him by your care, I’m the helpless other orphan who is left now I hate the god for everything, They are lucky who have parents as their care taker. He cried and cried and just cried; I was just numb and end up the call.

No No! This couldn’t be real! I was just blind and not able to resist the things, I just went to the out skirts of my town and screamed, That was really like piercing pain of needle, I reminisced all the days passed with him, Manu my 2nd BFF, He was reason behind my beloved crazy things Our First meet, First hug, Long walk, night out, Our silly fights, our outing, surprise, Everything, Yet death knocked, entered and took him away from me. I wish I had at least joined his funeral ,No I Don’t want to see a helpless body “but I have seen him when he was alive and may be God felt that those shall be my last memories with him, I just hated myself for my ego, my selfishness my ignorance ,my neglects, my inner soul started blaming me, I wish I had told him that “PART OF ME LOVED HIM”, I wish I had assure him we would meet our favourite celebrity MSD ,I wish I would promise him to keep in touch always I wished hundred million things, But everything was just in air He was no more.

I called Adhi and narrated the incident He was just quite “Now that your Love is dead “You just killed it by Yourself, Waste just move on, Adhi’s words startled me, Common You have lot of things to do with, just forget and take care of your health, Please I at least don’t want to see my friend suffering alone, I just can’t leave without my waste, please take care of yourself I’m coming now. It is really difficult for me to stay calm in that situation, That day I realised my importance in Adhi’s life, he just neglected Sakshi Birthday and came back to native for consoling me, His hug really helped to calm down a bit ,But I just could not endure the anguish I felt ,It felt like my heart had been ripped off my chest, Now I knew How it felt to lose someone who meant the world to me, I always heard people dejected as a result of losing their folks but never had I expected death to come my way, and of all people it had to be Manu.

After some days I felt to recollect my memories of Manu to keep myself calm with my mind So I had been to my cousin place, I had special Box to me By Manu left with my cousin, As I opened the box there was letter and beautifully sketched MSD AND ME, with the captioned To my lovely MSDIAN ..Designed with two beautiful Hearts, I started reading it as tears in my eyes were shedding apart.

Hi MSDian, 

YOU ARE MY BEAUTIFUL WORLD,YOU ARE MY LIFE,MY SOUL,AND ALWAYS BE MINE, You know I become a fully weak when it comes to speak my feelings in front of you, Don,☺ so I have to pen down my feelings, as I didn’t want to miss the chance to let you know that you are my angel, my true soul mate, and my best friend, I just wish to tell you that “I love you till eternity”(I just kissed the letter and press it to my heart and at this moment I was really missing him) I just wanted to tell you how I feel, so please don’t feel awkward about this monkey, I just wanted to you to know how I really need you at this stage of life because otherwise I’d be torturing myself and may be blaming myself one day for not telling you what my heart really feel you, 

Do you really feel I’m hurter? May be I hated for, You being with your Adhi and following his decisions and Ignoring me, Deep inside I was more Possessive, Many a time I saw MY MOM in you, Sometime caring, Sometime blaming, and Sometime guiding, The way you nurture me, shout at me, most importantly the way you loved me unconditionally Truly you are just her MIRROR image. Then how can you just walk away like this Ignoring me a? I don’t know what else you think But I would like you to know that You are ,You were ,and You will always remain My First Love forever ..I know I never told you the things which should have told you long time ago, but how could you never noticed?

I never ignored you instead I was trying to lessen my expectations from you and preventing myself from being hurt ,My heart always ponders for your Love please Don’t try to crush it, Everyone in the world Left me alone Dad, Mom, Relatives, and yeah My new Girl friend too..I’m badly in need of you I admire you for everything, don’t know, I just want you back in my life. I love you not only for who you are, but for who I’m when I with you. If at all I know what Love is It is just because of you, please don’t say anything, I’m in just in hope that letter reaches you sooner and You will be Mine forever and lets meet our MSD together, The pouch is with my mom’s “DAIMOND NOSE STUD” only thing left with me from my aunt, I want your BROAD nose ;) to be the owner of it, Trust me It really suits your my dear pumpkin, Just waiting for you...

Your ever love

 I just kept silent for a while there was a guilt in me “Sometimes we don’t appreciate fully for what we have, unless we lose it”, It has been same with me too, Love is when you feel understood without saying anything, You accept their Love entirely, You want to be best for loved one, but I totally failed in this, Love dies and there is nothing you can do except endure the loss, which is most painful, how do you forget the very person who gave you so much to remember? I just came back to my place, somewhere depression started ruling me over again... 

 That night I wished that his soul may Rest in peace. But my own soul was Restless..Everything related to him making me low, I threw away all my 1000 plus DHONI posters, I cried, cried and just cried..

Next day, Adhi was ready to go back “Don’t you picked the furthest college? Please come back and shift somewhere here, I don’t want to be far from you too, “Then he said “Just be cool and calm try to forget everything, I don’t want my Waste to ruin her life with those worse flavoured pills again, Please for God sake be strong, Look I had a surprise for you, He went out and came back with small Black and cream combinational Puppy “LEO” my new Partner, Why this? where I’m not able to console myself, I can’t, I cried, Then he said “The more people that you let into your life, the more that they can just walk out” but I promise LEO don’t so keep it safe, If u both need me just call me, I will be here for my both Sweet hearts, He just hugged me and kissed my forehead and Leo and just left the place. Leo the very first day I loved his attractive friendly nature to everyone, his molten brown eyes and his polished glossy fur, those cutest little paws, that marshmallow tail, he was always playful with balls and very much adorable for me, His tiny cuddly body was very energetic, Totally I loved Being with him.

Still I hated Adhi, for His depart He don’t even have a call after reaching their, He started being close to Sakshi, His Priorities started differing I just felt I’m ignored. 

I don’t know, I started being myself strong, remembering the words “YAS TV ATMA-RATIR EVA SYAT” which means “One who is satisfied in himself has no fear of any kind of reaction from his activity “ at this stage of my Life I never want to hate or shows grudges at anybody for the mistakes, most of all I never want to lose the person who love me more, I started talking myself to LEO he sat curiously to listen it ,He just came nudging my hand with snout, Those were the days that Leo was my everything ,Gazing into his eyes ,rubbing his ears ,lean on him, snuggles, cuddles honestly felt like He just love me more than anything in this world, Somewhere I thought Adhi was tired of being with me, 













That day I felt I don’t Miss the stranger Adhi had become, but I miss the SOULMATE Adhi who used to be, That moment I was cleared I was loving Manu but it’s just a fear of fate which stopped me to move forward, I hugged LEO tightly feeling the Manu and Adhi in it, Then I thought not to think much, Forgive the past, Love today, and Better plan for future, nothing lasts Forever, including the FRIENDSHIP of Adhi, Life of girl can never be changed decades have gone but for her she can adjust, scarifies, look after everything, pretends like nothing happen, still she can be left alone anytime, still she always be for someone whom she cares and stand like rock.

That was really surprising; Adhi had called me up and said “Why are you talking alone? He always hear my heart words ,but this time it was at its peak, he continued to talk “Sorry for my being, I was busy in My life, I need to complete the goals assigned to me by you, So here is my Updated version, When I’m with you I’m the same Adhi who use to care you like his own shadow, I just want my friend to be independent and feel the life strong, he just hugged me tight, Promised me for not ignoring me for rest of my life. I was just silent and hang up the call, Leo walked slowly to me “HI Leo, Isn’t feeling fizzy? He started licking my face, He was looking up at me with his head on its front paws, “But you won’t move away from me, right? Wont you? I asked patting his head, He gave me happy bark, and I just smiled at him.

All I want is to enjoy every moment of life without expectations, yes I’m changed and I can feel the change, Actually we both talked again after so many months of silence, We became polite AT EACH OTHER, EXACTLY THE WAY THAT STRANGERS DO..In fact nothing changed in him when he was in front of me, but still I hated his UPDATED version and needed his OLD version back.

Six month later,

It was a day of celebrating special day in my life, The day I met Manu, I was recalling that noon exactly few year ago when I stood in front of him staring at MSD poster, Helping him for sticking it ,Being his BFF just for poster I just smiled , and tears just fall apart from my eyes, I just gaze at the night sky hoping you too are looking back at me, may be death took you apart but it granted me the new ray of hope that I had to be strong, I had to be strong for you and the boy I loved, It was raining at that day , then it was raining today as well, In fact The rain always reminds me him., that night on terrace with all my soul, I pleaded him.. On terrace “Give me another chance, I know what I did was stupid but I need you back” with Leo beside “Anu, If you needed me you would have not ignored me” was reply, “I’m very Sorry “I repeated, SORRIES ARE just a reason, “MAY BE MY BODY IS INVISIBLE, BUT” MY LOVE FOR YOU REMAINS ETERNAL” Hurry up Its raining please move down with LEO. 

As LEO sat silently and listening to the conversation, I just got conscious about talking lonely and Noticed it was just a Heavy rain at NIGHT, and the Replying sound was from the Soul which was holding me Tight .They say “NA JAYATHE MRIYATHE VA KADACIN, NAYAM BHUTAV BHAVITA VA NA BHUYAH: AJO NITYAH SASVATAO ‘YAM PURANO NA HANYATE HANAYAMANE SARIRE” For the soul there is never birth, or death, nor having once been, does he ever cease to be. He is unborn, eternal, ever existing, undying and primeval; he is not slain when the body is in slain, I just stood thinking on words.

Leo started pulling my pastel coloured top, He just started to push me aside gently towards the down straits, and I just sat down “What? Why are you...Why you want me to go in? We both were fully wet, okay wait Leo, I get it stop pushing my legs and grabbed him into my arms, and hugged him tightly, While I just looked up in the sky and smiled at my LOST ETERNAL LOVE, saying “In another time, in another world, in another universe I’d love you exactly the way you had expect and we would be always together no matter where our souls wander”. Leo barked and snuggles into me and we both together went inside.

The end” 

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